The Time That I Abandonded a "Friend"

Today's blog title is a little different than the rest. In this season of my life, one thing I am trying to do is be transparent and honest. As I am getting older things such as titles and popularity are deemed in comparison to being blameless in God's eyes. Of course, that title is reserved for Jesus alone but I believe it's a good goal to strive for to keep you on the "straight and narrow" for lack of a better phrase. In my head, the straight and narrow is walking with God and avoiding temptation the best you can. The temptation will come but if you are secure in your walk you won't be guided by anything except the one who's been walking with you {God}.

Let's dive into the title. Within this year I made a decision to take a step of faith and share my story with a friend. I did not share it in a way that was just verbal; I invited her into my safe place. My lifestyle to say. I started taking her to the bible studies I attended and even to church on the days that we had service. I was really invested in her growth because I was so happy that God did work in me and I know that he WILL do it in her.

However, I had to draw a line. I could not continue to be so closely invested in her growth because I was halting mine. I started to fall back into patterns that I believed I was free from. I started to become mean when I am usually friendly, I started to be anxious when I used to be filled with peace. I started to desire to be promiscuous when all I want is a husband. I, Kadeidre, Kadei whatever name you associate me by decided to leave. I ran, I drove off, I left, because I nor any man can satisfy the way Jesus does. It may feel good for a season, a second, a moment, a night. However, when the sun rises and you look in the mirror you are still you. You; don't feel loved, appreciated, or special, you feel like you need MORE. That MORE isn't a boyfriend, fiance, or husband. It's the love of a father, the love of a brother, the love of a friend. Heck, it's also the love of a mother! So, don't be discouraged in your season of singleness or loneliness because know you're "too" holy or too "whatever" for the cool kids to like you. You will always have a friend in JESUS and your testimony is only going to be 10x stronger. In the words of Mandisa "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

-Kadee 🖤