Where to turn?

I have had many moments in my life where I felt like I didn't know where to turn. Rather it had to do with relationship advice, school, mental health, religion. I felt kind of lost. As I grew up I figured I could talk to my older sister, aunts, dad, and even friends. Over time these people gave me good advice sometimes, other times the advice would leave me more lost than ever. I learned that when I need advice I don't always need to turn to the next available person. My first option should be to go to Christ.

I try to stay as open and honest with you guys about my mental health and my journey. So, I'm going to tell y'all what happened about two weeks ago. I recently started volunteering at my home church in the High School Ministry. I had been contemplating if I really wanted to volunteer for a few months now because I felt that I wasn't in the right place to lead teens to Christ. News flash! We're never in the right place. After heavy consideration and prayer, I decided to go along and volunteer. On the very first leader call, one of the leaders shared a devotion about anxiety. Now, I am diagnosed with Bipolar 1 (bipolar depression). I know anxiety can pair with depression but for me, I wouldn't say that anxiety has ever really been a real struggle for me. For some reason, after that leader call, I could not sleep. My mind kept racing. And at one point in the night, my chest felt very heavy and I could not breathe. Tears started streaming down my face and my first instinct was to panic. (Now as a disclaimer a week before this happened I attended training for leading small groups. In this training we were informed on what panic attacks are and how to get through them.) As soon as I thought of panic I remembered the training I attended just a week before and identified this as a panic attack. I started taking deep breaths and once I could talk I continued to say the name Emanuele which means "God with Us". I said this name because it helped me remember that even in this scary moment God is still there. After that panic attack for the next two days, I had several. Some lasting longer than others. I prayed, listened to worship music, and reached out to family and friends for support. I desperately did not want this anxiety to trigger a depressive episode but it did. I am glad to say the episode only lasted a few days and I am ok.

The reason I shared that story with you all is just to let you know that if you believe you have nowhere to turn to you can always go to God first and tell him what's going on. If you believe that you really need someone to talk to pray about that as well and he will send someone your way. It is not by mistake that you're reading this post right now. If you need someone to talk to my email and inbox on IG, Twitter, and Facebook are always open.

My challenge for you all this week is to turn to God first when something you think you need a second opinion on comes up. Let me know how it turns out.