Alone not Lonely

For a little over a year now I have been going through a season of loneliness I would say. Around this time last year, I cut ties with people I considered to be good friends and a long-term relationship. I had to learn how to enjoy being in my own company. Which was harder than I'd expected. This season I am learning more and more about myself each day. Early on I found out that I tend to get attached to people easily. Hence, I have trouble letting them go. I'm still learning how to let go a year into this season and I can say it has become easier. One of the biggest struggles for me in this season is learning how to be alone and not lonely. I've always been the person who had a friend for any and every circumstance that way I was never alone. Now that I no longer have that I find myself feeling lonely sporadically. This is normal because as humans we are made for relationships. We are not meant to be alone so naturally, we gravitate and yearn for connections with others. I often say "everything in moderation" which means everything in a balanced matter is fine. So when I think about hanging with friends that is okay as long as it's not excessive. Which in my case it was. I never really enjoyed being alone. That was mainly because when I was alone I was forced to think. When I'd think I would analyze my feelings. Which would lead me to overthink and wind up in a depression. The honest truth is that I wasn't comfortable in my own mind. I was scared of my thoughts so I tried desperately to busy myself with others so I didn't have to think. By the grace of God, I am no longer afraid of my mind. I have completely surrendered my mind and thoughts to God. My daily prayer is that God renews my mind. I ask Him to give me thoughts that reflect His heart. I ask Him to remove anything that is not of Him. A bible verse that I adore is Philippians 4:8 "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is commendable, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." And as I continue to pray this and make it a lifestyle I find more and more each day that I'm not really lonely just alone. This is okay because God knows the desires of my heart and as I pray for godly friendships I know that God is faithful to bring the right people into my life. It is also important to remember that we are never truly alone because God is always with us. I hope this post has touched whoever is reading and gives you hope. I want you to know that you have a friend in me and Jesus is never far away!

-Kadee